A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer's well. The water wasn't very deep, so the mule could stand on the bottom. The farmer heard the mule braying. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, yet he saw no hope of saving the mule nor the well. He called his neighbors together and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.
Initially, the old mule was hysterical. But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck the mule. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, he could shake it off and step up!
This he did, shovel full after shovel full. " Shake it off and step up..shake it off and step up, the old mule repeated to encourage himself. The old mule fought panic and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up. It wasn't long before the old mule, stepped triumphantly over the wall of the well. What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.
Let us learn from the old mule!
Stay focused on the outcomes you desire. Stay determined! If something makes your heart sing, DO IT! Do it NOW! Whatever seems heavy to you, speak your positive words of the outcome you desire. Stay focused on the solution. You really don't have to get buried at the bottom of a well. There are always solutions. Shake it off and step up to your great life NOW!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
If I rescue you will you rescue me?
The dynamics that drive the train in a relationship can lie deeply below the surface. Through hypnotic regression, the keys to unlocking long standing destructive patterns can be revealed and changed to healthy, self supporting patterns.
The following is a true story about a client who came to me very distraught about her love life. Cindy is not her real name. I hope from reading Cindy's story you can more fully understand how the driving force of the subconscious mind comes into play in our relationships.
Cindy had married and divorced four alcoholic men when she sought help for her life. The first three men were actively drinking when she married them. The fourth was not. About six months into the marriage, he suffered a trauma and began to drink to cope. Soon, he exhibited all the behaviors typical to the alcoholic and Cindy got her forth divorce.
Using hypnotic regression, Cindy began to relate that her mother had been alcoholic during her childhood. Her mother had been raped at age twelve, and had learned to drink to cope with her own emotional pain.
At age six, Cindy, feeling alone, abandoned and needing love, decided, “If I make Mother happy, she won’t drink and she will be there to give me love.”
I coached her to re-educate the Child to see that she can’t “make” someone else happy. That desire has to come from within the person. I then helped the Adult to bond with the Child, having her tell the Child, “I am your mother and father now. I will never leave you. I love you unconditionally, just as you are. And even when I leave this Earth life, you will be right in my heart, forevermore.” The bonding was successful.
In a short period of time, Cindy met a wonderful sober young man. They fell in love and established a happy, healthy relationship.
Often people try to tough it out and make things happen in relationships. There is truly an easier way and this way is through hypnotherapy.
If you or someone you love is struggling or in strife in their relationships, I would love to help you and your loved ones discover their unconscious patterns that cause love goals to not be fulfilled! It is so simple and the rewards are great!
The following is a true story about a client who came to me very distraught about her love life. Cindy is not her real name. I hope from reading Cindy's story you can more fully understand how the driving force of the subconscious mind comes into play in our relationships.
Cindy had married and divorced four alcoholic men when she sought help for her life. The first three men were actively drinking when she married them. The fourth was not. About six months into the marriage, he suffered a trauma and began to drink to cope. Soon, he exhibited all the behaviors typical to the alcoholic and Cindy got her forth divorce.
Using hypnotic regression, Cindy began to relate that her mother had been alcoholic during her childhood. Her mother had been raped at age twelve, and had learned to drink to cope with her own emotional pain.
At age six, Cindy, feeling alone, abandoned and needing love, decided, “If I make Mother happy, she won’t drink and she will be there to give me love.”
I coached her to re-educate the Child to see that she can’t “make” someone else happy. That desire has to come from within the person. I then helped the Adult to bond with the Child, having her tell the Child, “I am your mother and father now. I will never leave you. I love you unconditionally, just as you are. And even when I leave this Earth life, you will be right in my heart, forevermore.” The bonding was successful.
In a short period of time, Cindy met a wonderful sober young man. They fell in love and established a happy, healthy relationship.
Often people try to tough it out and make things happen in relationships. There is truly an easier way and this way is through hypnotherapy.
If you or someone you love is struggling or in strife in their relationships, I would love to help you and your loved ones discover their unconscious patterns that cause love goals to not be fulfilled! It is so simple and the rewards are great!
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Everything is Possible!
Sally came to me as a nervous, scared woman. Sally's romantic relationship was in shambles. Sally felt used financially in this relationship, and justifiably so. Although Sally is a pretty woman, her body showed signs of neglect, including about 35 pounds of excess weight. Sally was overworked at her job, and her compensation did not match her hours.
With Life Success Coaching, Sally began to learn that her thoughts create her life. She learned that there were messages from childhood that were hampering her current day fulfillment. She learned how to change those childhood messages to ones that supported her in living an empowered, happy life. I coached her to see that the angst she was experiencing was not HERS. The angst was coming from a conflict between her True Self and the Programmed Childhood Self.
Over the next few months, Sally began to see herself through new eyes. She said goodbye to the unappreciative boyfriend. She joined a gym and works out regularly. Sally took a yoga class and practices faithfully. Sally can now look in the mirror and say "I love you" and mean it. As a result of her new found Self love and Self awareness, the chatter in her head that was draining her energy have now become silent. Sally asserted herself at work and renegotiated a new salary and structure of hours.
With the help of Life Success Coaching, Sally has accomplished all of this in just 16 months!
Go Sally!!
Why should anyone struggle when every challenge has a solution?
With Life Success Coaching, Sally began to learn that her thoughts create her life. She learned that there were messages from childhood that were hampering her current day fulfillment. She learned how to change those childhood messages to ones that supported her in living an empowered, happy life. I coached her to see that the angst she was experiencing was not HERS. The angst was coming from a conflict between her True Self and the Programmed Childhood Self.
Over the next few months, Sally began to see herself through new eyes. She said goodbye to the unappreciative boyfriend. She joined a gym and works out regularly. Sally took a yoga class and practices faithfully. Sally can now look in the mirror and say "I love you" and mean it. As a result of her new found Self love and Self awareness, the chatter in her head that was draining her energy have now become silent. Sally asserted herself at work and renegotiated a new salary and structure of hours.
With the help of Life Success Coaching, Sally has accomplished all of this in just 16 months!
Go Sally!!
Why should anyone struggle when every challenge has a solution?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
In the Flow of Good
I arrived for my beauty services at the designated time, Friday at 10 a.m.. My technician was, for the first time in over a decade, not there. We have a standing appointment for every 4 weeks, and I was baffled. No one had seen her that day. I called her cell and got her voice mail. Where was she??
I waited 20 minutes and she still did not show. I decided to not be irritated, but instead, to know that everything was in the flow.
My technician called later that day. She too was baffled, as my appointment hadn't shown on her schedule. Apparently, when her calendar rolled over to the new year, that particular appointment time didn't transfer. She rescheduled me for the following week.
When I arrived at the newly scheduled time, my technician (who is also a client) shared with me a sizable challenge that had occurred on Friday evening (the day of my original appointment.) A former beau had contacted her and brought up quite a pile of "stuff" for her. During the beauty services, I was able to coach her through to a deeper understanding of her experience and help her find peace. My technician experienced a big "aha!"
We both realized that there was a flow to the rescheduling of the appointment. Had she seen me on the Friday morning that was my normal time, the event that challenged her would not have yet occurred. Because we got together the week following the event, I was able to help her on her journey with an issue that had been huge for her.
In trusting the flow, we can live in peace and allow the wondrous good that always has the potential to unfold.
I waited 20 minutes and she still did not show. I decided to not be irritated, but instead, to know that everything was in the flow.
My technician called later that day. She too was baffled, as my appointment hadn't shown on her schedule. Apparently, when her calendar rolled over to the new year, that particular appointment time didn't transfer. She rescheduled me for the following week.
When I arrived at the newly scheduled time, my technician (who is also a client) shared with me a sizable challenge that had occurred on Friday evening (the day of my original appointment.) A former beau had contacted her and brought up quite a pile of "stuff" for her. During the beauty services, I was able to coach her through to a deeper understanding of her experience and help her find peace. My technician experienced a big "aha!"
We both realized that there was a flow to the rescheduling of the appointment. Had she seen me on the Friday morning that was my normal time, the event that challenged her would not have yet occurred. Because we got together the week following the event, I was able to help her on her journey with an issue that had been huge for her.
In trusting the flow, we can live in peace and allow the wondrous good that always has the potential to unfold.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Are you efforting?
Miracle's ashes were spread, blowing in freedom to the four winds. I was now ready for a new dog. Cherri had spoken the word for my next dog a few minutes after Miracle passed. I heard her words, but my heart wasn't into it and I wasn't ready.
Almost a month had passed since Miracle's departure. As the days went on, I had been feeling the hole in my heart and in the heart of my clients that Miracle's passing had left more and more. My clients adored her, and wept for her passing. I went on Petfinders.com. I registered with Adoptapet.com. I spent hours cruising through the pictures of hundreds of dogs needing homes. I stared at the screen, knowing that my perfect dog was out there somewhere and I just wasn't finding her.The more I looked, the more ready I felt to accept a new dog into my heart and into my space. I felt a connection with a dog through the ethers. I could feel her sweet heart. I sensed that her owners couldn't keep her. I saw a red collar around her neck. I knew that the dog that was to be "my" dog was a female Lab. I just couldn't seem to find her! One night, I was going through the countless pictures and descriptions and I felt a profound sense of longing. It felt as though I was trying to make something happen. I was coming from lack. I was efforting....and I KNOW better. I felt like a love addict longing and desperate for love.
I knew that Miracle was in Spirit, yet I had the box of ashes I needed to do something with. I have a client whose husband had passed last summer. She had spread the husband's ashes and felt such freedom from doing so. My client challenged me as to why I hadn't done something with Miracle's ashes. On Sunday I realized that my client was coming in the next day, and there was no way I was going to admit to her that I hadn't dealt with those ashes. So spread them I did. I was surprised that the ritual was as heartfelt as it was. I experienced a "final honoring" of my beloved pet.
On Monday night, I called Cherri. Cherri is Native American and is very in tune with animals. I told Cherri that I was now ready for my dog. I spoke my word that the dog that was perfect for me in every way would find her way to me or I to her. I spoke my word with authority and clarity.
The very next day, Cherri received an email from a friend. The friend's email had a list with pictures of 10 dogs needing homes. Cherri usually deletes these, but this time, she decided to send me the email. Cherri's note said, "Be sure and check out #9." Dog #9 was a black male Lab in Sulphur Springs Texas, and was being housed at the Sulphur Springs Animal Control Shelter. Even though I wanted a yellow female Lab, I didn't want to be hard headed, and I wanted to be open to the possibilities of my good, perhaps coming to me in ways that I could not see. I called and left a message. The following day I received a call from a woman, Cindy, who said that Denise at the shelter had called her and related to her that I was looking for a yellow female Lab. Cindy said that she had a young female Lab that she could no longer keep. As Cindy told me the story about her dog, I knew that she was the dog I had been looking for. I was so excited I could hardly stand it. Then I thought, "When will I ever have time to make the 2 hour drive to Sulphur Springs to get her?" As I was finishing my thought, Cindy said, "We will be happy to bring her to you." Wow. How easy was all that??
I had been sitting there for countless hours........efforting.......and all I had to do was speak my word with 100% conviction, and my dog was there with me in the blink of an eye. I named her Grace. She is wonderful!
Almost a month had passed since Miracle's departure. As the days went on, I had been feeling the hole in my heart and in the heart of my clients that Miracle's passing had left more and more. My clients adored her, and wept for her passing. I went on Petfinders.com. I registered with Adoptapet.com. I spent hours cruising through the pictures of hundreds of dogs needing homes. I stared at the screen, knowing that my perfect dog was out there somewhere and I just wasn't finding her.The more I looked, the more ready I felt to accept a new dog into my heart and into my space. I felt a connection with a dog through the ethers. I could feel her sweet heart. I sensed that her owners couldn't keep her. I saw a red collar around her neck. I knew that the dog that was to be "my" dog was a female Lab. I just couldn't seem to find her! One night, I was going through the countless pictures and descriptions and I felt a profound sense of longing. It felt as though I was trying to make something happen. I was coming from lack. I was efforting....and I KNOW better. I felt like a love addict longing and desperate for love.
I knew that Miracle was in Spirit, yet I had the box of ashes I needed to do something with. I have a client whose husband had passed last summer. She had spread the husband's ashes and felt such freedom from doing so. My client challenged me as to why I hadn't done something with Miracle's ashes. On Sunday I realized that my client was coming in the next day, and there was no way I was going to admit to her that I hadn't dealt with those ashes. So spread them I did. I was surprised that the ritual was as heartfelt as it was. I experienced a "final honoring" of my beloved pet.
On Monday night, I called Cherri. Cherri is Native American and is very in tune with animals. I told Cherri that I was now ready for my dog. I spoke my word that the dog that was perfect for me in every way would find her way to me or I to her. I spoke my word with authority and clarity.
The very next day, Cherri received an email from a friend. The friend's email had a list with pictures of 10 dogs needing homes. Cherri usually deletes these, but this time, she decided to send me the email. Cherri's note said, "Be sure and check out #9." Dog #9 was a black male Lab in Sulphur Springs Texas, and was being housed at the Sulphur Springs Animal Control Shelter. Even though I wanted a yellow female Lab, I didn't want to be hard headed, and I wanted to be open to the possibilities of my good, perhaps coming to me in ways that I could not see. I called and left a message. The following day I received a call from a woman, Cindy, who said that Denise at the shelter had called her and related to her that I was looking for a yellow female Lab. Cindy said that she had a young female Lab that she could no longer keep. As Cindy told me the story about her dog, I knew that she was the dog I had been looking for. I was so excited I could hardly stand it. Then I thought, "When will I ever have time to make the 2 hour drive to Sulphur Springs to get her?" As I was finishing my thought, Cindy said, "We will be happy to bring her to you." Wow. How easy was all that??
I had been sitting there for countless hours........efforting.......and all I had to do was speak my word with 100% conviction, and my dog was there with me in the blink of an eye. I named her Grace. She is wonderful!
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Accentuate the Positive!
I remember a song from my childhood that started out, "You've got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, don't mess with Mister in-between.
All around us, in the news, casual conversation, phone calls with loved ones and friends, negativity abounds. As a whole, we have a tendency to focus on what is wrong rather than what is going right.
In my passion to stay positive and uplift others in doing so as well, I have increased my outreach. I am now posting positive affirmations each day on Twitter (http://twitter.com/joyvanderbeck).
I am writing via the blog site here, sharing stories to inspire and to educate, sharing with others what I am learning along my journey.
Writing can be a great form of uplifting oneself as well!I feel uplifted every time I write, so I encourage you to jump in there and say what's on your mind! Who knows? Something you have to say might change someone's day!
If there are topics that you would like for me to write about, I would love to hear your requests (joyv@joyv.com). I will probably have something to say! :)
As you go through this day, I encourage you to focus on accentuating the positive and see how quickly your heart is uplifted. An uplifted heart creates a joyful, successful life. Enjoy yourself!!
Here are the words to the song that still rings in my mind from long ago:
ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE (Mister In-Between)
(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
(To illustrate his last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do
Just when everything looked so dark)
Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, do not mess with Mister In-Between
Do you hear me, hmm?
(Oh, listen to me children and-a you will hear
About the elininatin' of the negative
And the accent on the positive)
And gather 'round me children if you're willin'
And sit tight while I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right
(You've gotta accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between)
You've got to spread joy (up to the maximum)
Bring gloom (down) down to the minimum
Otherwise (otherwise) pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
To illustrate (well illustrate) my last remark (you got the floor)
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they say (what did they say)
Say when everything looked so dark
Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No! Don't mess with Mister In-Between
All around us, in the news, casual conversation, phone calls with loved ones and friends, negativity abounds. As a whole, we have a tendency to focus on what is wrong rather than what is going right.
In my passion to stay positive and uplift others in doing so as well, I have increased my outreach. I am now posting positive affirmations each day on Twitter (http://twitter.com/joyvanderbeck).
I am writing via the blog site here, sharing stories to inspire and to educate, sharing with others what I am learning along my journey.
Writing can be a great form of uplifting oneself as well!I feel uplifted every time I write, so I encourage you to jump in there and say what's on your mind! Who knows? Something you have to say might change someone's day!
If there are topics that you would like for me to write about, I would love to hear your requests (joyv@joyv.com). I will probably have something to say! :)
As you go through this day, I encourage you to focus on accentuating the positive and see how quickly your heart is uplifted. An uplifted heart creates a joyful, successful life. Enjoy yourself!!
Here are the words to the song that still rings in my mind from long ago:
ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE (Mister In-Between)
(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)
You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
(To illustrate his last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do
Just when everything looked so dark)
Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, do not mess with Mister In-Between
Do you hear me, hmm?
(Oh, listen to me children and-a you will hear
About the elininatin' of the negative
And the accent on the positive)
And gather 'round me children if you're willin'
And sit tight while I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right
(You've gotta accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between)
You've got to spread joy (up to the maximum)
Bring gloom (down) down to the minimum
Otherwise (otherwise) pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene
To illustrate (well illustrate) my last remark (you got the floor)
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they say (what did they say)
Say when everything looked so dark
Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No! Don't mess with Mister In-Between
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
She claimed it!
I have a dear friend whose birthday is near Christmas. I have known this friend for about 15 years. Each year, her birthday seems to get postponed. We have even celebrated her birthday at Easter! Often, the celebration takes place a few weeks into the new year.
This last December, we discussed her birthday. I made a comment about her birthday and said, "Who knows when we will actually celebrate it this time!"
My friend answered firmly, "This year we will celebrate my birthday on time." Her words were spoken with certainty and resolve.
A few days before her birthday, I received an invitation to have dinner with my friend and her husband. Since it was so close to her birthday, I asked her if it were okay for me to bring her presents. My friend expressed that she was open, and that whatever I wanted to do was fine with her.
It felt weird to be having her birthday party and it wasn't even the new year yet. I brought the presents and we had a wonderful time! I said to my friend, "Wow I can hardly believe that we are actually celebrating your birthday not only on time but 2 days early!" Then I remembered her words, "This year we will celebrate my birthday on time."
As you go through this day, I encourage you to remember the power of your commitments and the power of your spoken words. You can steer your ship, or you can let the winds of life choose for you. What works best for you?
This last December, we discussed her birthday. I made a comment about her birthday and said, "Who knows when we will actually celebrate it this time!"
My friend answered firmly, "This year we will celebrate my birthday on time." Her words were spoken with certainty and resolve.
A few days before her birthday, I received an invitation to have dinner with my friend and her husband. Since it was so close to her birthday, I asked her if it were okay for me to bring her presents. My friend expressed that she was open, and that whatever I wanted to do was fine with her.
It felt weird to be having her birthday party and it wasn't even the new year yet. I brought the presents and we had a wonderful time! I said to my friend, "Wow I can hardly believe that we are actually celebrating your birthday not only on time but 2 days early!" Then I remembered her words, "This year we will celebrate my birthday on time."
As you go through this day, I encourage you to remember the power of your commitments and the power of your spoken words. You can steer your ship, or you can let the winds of life choose for you. What works best for you?
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