Accentuate the Positive!

I remember a song from my childhood that started out, "You've got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, don't mess with Mister in-between.

All around us, in the news, casual conversation, phone calls with loved ones and friends, negativity abounds. As a whole, we have a tendency to focus on what is wrong rather than what is going right.

In my passion to stay positive and uplift others in doing so as well, I have increased my outreach. I am now posting positive affirmations each day on Twitter (http://twitter.com/joyvanderbeck).

I am writing via the blog site here, sharing stories to inspire and to educate, sharing with others what I am learning along my journey.

Writing can be a great form of uplifting oneself as well!I feel uplifted every time I write, so I encourage you to jump in there and say what's on your mind! Who knows? Something you have to say might change someone's day!

If there are topics that you would like for me to write about, I would love to hear your requests (joyv@joyv.com). I will probably have something to say! :)

As you go through this day, I encourage you to focus on accentuating the positive and see how quickly your heart is uplifted. An uplifted heart creates a joyful, successful life. Enjoy yourself!!

Here are the words to the song that still rings in my mind from long ago:

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE (Mister In-Between)

(Johnny Mercer / Harold Arlen)

You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum
Bring gloom down to the minimum
Have faith or pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

(To illustrate his last remark
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they do
Just when everything looked so dark)

Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No, do not mess with Mister In-Between
Do you hear me, hmm?

(Oh, listen to me children and-a you will hear
About the elininatin' of the negative
And the accent on the positive)
And gather 'round me children if you're willin'
And sit tight while I start reviewin'
The attitude of doin' right

(You've gotta accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between)

You've got to spread joy (up to the maximum)
Bring gloom (down) down to the minimum
Otherwise (otherwise) pandemonium
Liable to walk upon the scene

To illustrate (well illustrate) my last remark (you got the floor)
Jonah in the whale, Noah in the ark
What did they say (what did they say)
Say when everything looked so dark

Man, they said we better
Accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
Latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between
No! Don't mess with Mister In-Between

She claimed it!

I have a dear friend whose birthday is near Christmas. I have known this friend for about 15 years. Each year, her birthday seems to get postponed. We have even celebrated her birthday at Easter! Often, the celebration takes place a few weeks into the new year.

This last December, we discussed her birthday. I made a comment about her birthday and said, "Who knows when we will actually celebrate it this time!"

My friend answered firmly, "This year we will celebrate my birthday on time." Her words were spoken with certainty and resolve.

A few days before her birthday, I received an invitation to have dinner with my friend and her husband. Since it was so close to her birthday, I asked her if it were okay for me to bring her presents. My friend expressed that she was open, and that whatever I wanted to do was fine with her.

It felt weird to be having her birthday party and it wasn't even the new year yet. I brought the presents and we had a wonderful time! I said to my friend, "Wow I can hardly believe that we are actually celebrating your birthday not only on time but 2 days early!" Then I remembered her words, "This year we will celebrate my birthday on time."

As you go through this day, I encourage you to remember the power of your commitments and the power of your spoken words. You can steer your ship, or you can let the winds of life choose for you. What works best for you?

Miracle's last Miracle

My wonderful and faithful dog Miracle made her transition this last Wednesday.

Miracle had lost her hearing several months ago. I asked myself if it bothered her that she couldn't hear any longer.

Tisha, my very in tune daughter in love, had some time alone with Miracle. I knew that Tisha sensed that Miracle wouldn't be with us much longer, but in her wisdom, she didn't mention it to me until much later.

What I observed during the months that followed answered my question. I watched her lose her zest for life. I sensed that she felt as though her purpose as a protector had diminished. I watched as she grew tired earlier and earlier during our walks. Then on October 27, Miracle was given a terminal diagnosis.

I know that we are Spirit and beyond diagnoses and prognoses. I have known people who have made a decision to live after receiving a "terminal" diagnosis. Multiple times I have witnessed the correlation between a person's or a pet's will to live and the state of their health.

I also believe in the eternity of all life.

I sat with Miracle on the floor and told her that if she wanted to live, she was going to have to live up to her name and pull off a Miracle. She continued to dwindle and lose her hold on life. I sensed that she was torn between staying with me and coming back and getting to be a puppy again.

I was determined to let her go if that was what she wanted to do. Many times I held her and thanked her for all that she had brought to me and to my clients who loved her dearly. I told her over and over that it was okay to go, and that while I would grieve and miss her, I was willing to let her go. Something that my son Sunny said really helped me with this readiness. Sunny asked me if I could let her go so that some other "old soul dog" could come and share some good times with me. Sunny, too, knew she would be leaving. Sunny commented that at a time like this, my spiritual beliefs would be challenged. He was correct.

The last month of her life became very stressful for me because her appetite changed and what she would eat varied from day to day. For a mom type person, not being able to get my dog to eat was upsetting. I knew what it meant. She was preparing to leave.

I was in a lot of fear that it would be her time to go, and would need help doing so, and I wouldn't get it. While I teach and totally know that saying "I don't know" closes the door to the answer, I kept saying "What if I don't know?" It was a huge issue for me accompanied by many tears. I wanted to do it right for her; I wanted to be spiritually in tune. But I didn't feel in tune. I didn't trust myself with this important decision. I wanted to do it right by my precious Miracle.

Saturday night before she transitioned, she had become so weak that she fell on my kitchen floor and couldn't get up. She lay there with legs spread, whimpering, and unable to get herself up. The whimpering told me that she needed help. I held her and asked her to please go without my having to make the call to euthanize her. I lay blankets all over the hardwood floors to help her have some traction so it wouldn't happen again.

I called the vet on Monday morning. Miracle was better that day and I told the vet, "Today is not the day." I emailed my Native American friend Cherri and asked her if she could be with Miracle at noon on Wednesday. She agreed. How did I know that?? I suspect that, while I kept being afraid that I wouldn't know, I kept affirming that I WOULD know. I affirmed that I would know what was best. I affirmed that I would know when it was time.

Still, I kept being in fear and angst about "What if I don't know."

On Tuesday evening, Miracle let herself outside and didn't have the strength to get back inside. I let her in and she was so cold, and didn't warm up as she normally would. I covered her with heavy towels. I knew Miracle's hold on life was very thin, and that her circulation was shutting down.

The greatest blessing she gave me that night was creating space for me to hold her and say my farewell. I realized that all through that time, I had told her it was okay to go but I hadn't told her goodbye. I did so that night and it felt awful. It felt horrible. I hate goodbyes. Goodbyes have been a huge trauma for me in my life and here it was again. It dawned on me that it wasn't really goodbye, because at some time we will see each other again in this life or another. I changed it to "See you later" and I felt peace.

I told her to be sure and pick a family next time who would be good to her and love her as much as I did.

The next morning, I awakened, and heard the words of my guidance, "It's time." Then I heard her crying at the back door to come in. Again, she was too weak to come in on her own. I listened to my guidance, and made arrangements for the vet, Cherri, and my son Christian to be here.

Miracle came in to greet and share love with my clients all that morning. The clients were all so in tune that they knew she was leaving though I said nothing. Miracle's last act of service was sharing love with a client who had been horribly abused in his childhood who is struggling to get his heart back. I took pictures. Miracle only had a few minutes left on this earth and one more time, she was helping someone get their heart back.

Miracle's passing was peaceful and she was surrounded with so much love, prayers and Native American blessings.

That afternoon, I was in session with clients and I felt her spirit so strongly. There will always be a connection of love.

I am so thankful that she helped me get yet another part of my heart back. It really IS okay to say goodbye because all goodbyes are really "see you later." And perhaps, since Miracle had been an abandoned dog, we all, through loving her, helped Miracle get her heart back as well.

Thank you Miracle!! Thank you!!

For the Good of the Whole

It was raining and I was arriving at Las Colinas Country Club a few minutes later than I had planned. As I drove toward the valet parking, I had the idea of removing my keys and replacing them with my valet key that was stored in my wallet. I thought and even said out loud, "NO! I refuse to live my life in paranoia, thinking that some valet guy is going to take my house key and make a copy of it and then proceed to break into my home. NO!I refuse to see that in my world! My house is safe. It has always been safe!"

I learned later that the message to use the valet key wasn't for my benefit.

I attended a lovely gala, and when I went back to retrieve my car, the valet had trouble locating my keys. I said, "I drive a Silver Lexus. The key ring is the one that has the metal thing on it that says, 'I love to be hugged.'" "Oh yes; here they are" he said.

When I arrived home, I took my keys out of the ignition and thought there sure were a lot of keys on my keyring. I examined them to see what was happening. A whole bunch of keys along with a Nissan key-less entry device was hooked onto my keyring by some Fleur-delis decoration. I tried and tried and couln't untangle the two sets of keys.

I called the country club and was unable to locate a live person. I knew that someone was going to be leaving that event and would be distraught that their keys were nowhere to be found. Next I called 3 people that I personally knew that were at the gala. All three calls resulted in reaching their voice mail.

It was late and I was tired. I thought about driving all the way back out there but decided it wasn't my mistake and I wasn't going to be the one to pay the price. True, it wasn't my mistake, but also true that I could have headed the whole situation off at the pass by listening to my intuitive message.

The next day I called the country club and learned that the Nissan owners had been driven home by the country club staff. I was relieved to hear this, since I really did have to own my part in the mishap. There had apparently been quite a hub bub about the missing keys. I knew that, had I listened, the entire experience would have been different for everyone.

What I was reminded of that night was the importance of following my guidance. It might be for the good of the whole.

Are you Listening?

Flight to Santa Fe

It was August, l985 and just a few weeks after the Delta flight had gone down in a horrendous Texas thunderstorm north of DFW Airport. I received an Invitation to fly to Santa Fe, New Mexico in September for a 3-day weekend. The trip sounded like fun.

Before I made a commitment, I wanted to check it out with my intuition to be sure the trip would be safe, and that I was supposed to be going. I had trained myself to have the ability to obtain a “yes” or “no” answer with clarity from my intuition.
To do this, I first get centered. I affirm that I am one with the All-Knowing. Then I release any attachment that I might have to the answer that I will receive. This part is an absolute necessity, as sometimes God has a plan bigger and better for us than what we can currently see. Then I pose the question.

I feel my oneness with the All-Knowing. Usually if the answer is “no”, I will feel closed up inside, and darkness will fill my vision. Sometimes, I will hear the word “No.”. When the answer is “yes”, I will feel light inside, light will fill my vision, and sometimes I will hear the word, “yes”.

In this case, I asked, “Is it for my highest and best good to go to Santa Fe on September 8, l985, on such and so flight at 4 p.m.” I felt light inside, fun and joyfulness, and my field of vision looked bright. It was a definite “yes”.

When we left for the airport, it was one of those gorgeous September days that we have here in Texas. The sun was shining brightly, and it was about 85 degrees. We arrived at the airport, checked our bags, and went over to the window to watch the planes taking off and landing.

To my shock, the sky had turned totally black. It began to thunder and lightening, and it was raining cats and dogs. It was one of those typical violent Texas thunderstorms that seem to roll in out of nowhere. All at the airport had the memory of that Delta flight that had gone down, and the terror that ran through the airport was phenomenal!

I moved into doubt, and then into fear. I began to wonder, am I in trouble? Was I not clear that I was supposed to take this flight? I excused myself to be alone for a few minutes to get re- centered. I asked again, “Is it to my highest good to take this flight today?” The answer was, again, yes.

By the time I got back to the window and to my friend, the clouds were gone, the rain had stopped, and the sun was shining again.

We had an absolutely lovely flight, a wonderful trip, I had the honor of seeing 2 light beings guarding the door of my hotel room while I was sleeping, and I had a spiritual experience of trusting my knowing that I shall remember for the rest of my life.

The message: When you listen to what you know, you are always empowered, confident and certain!

The Mailbox-Be Careful What you Ask for; You will get it

The Mailbox -- Be careful what you ask for – you will get it.

Some years ago, I received a notice that my neighborhood was going to mandatory curbside mailboxes. The notice said that if I had it installed then, there would be no charge; if I waited I would have to pay for the installation. I wasn’t about to spend money to pay for something that I didn’t want in the first place, so I went for the free installation.
I wasn’t happy about this change. Because of the abundant foliage on my property, I was not able to see when the postal carrier put the little red flag down, so I didn’t know when my mail had arrived. If it were raining, it was a hassle to get the mail. I felt like a victim because I didn’t WANT the mailbox there.
In visiting with my postal carrier, I found out that in fact it was NOT mandatory to have curbside mail delivery, but that now that the curbside mailbox had been installed, I was on a post office list of those with curbside mail delivery. I had been lied to and I was angry! I was tempted to have my handyman, Carlos, come after dark with his truck, wrap a chain around it and pull the mailbox, post, concrete and all out of the ground. Carlos was reluctant to go along with my game plan. I put a tremendous amount of energy around wanting that mailbox gone.
One morning I noticed that the mailbox was lying on the ground. Apparently, some bored or ill-directed teenagers had taken baseball bats to some mailboxes in the neighborhood. While my property is always safe because of the thoughts that I hold, the mailbox was definitely not in that force field of protection, and it got hit. I was able to place the mailbox back on the post and, while not secure, it held on unless there was a high wind.
May of 2000, a tornado traveled a mile north of my home and then turned and traveled a mile east of my home. The winds were horrendous. The sound was unforgettable. I sat in meditation, and was assured that I was safe.
The next morning I went outside to assess damage. Everything was fine except that the mailbox was gone. I walked the yard. No mailbox. I walked up and down the street. No mailbox. I saw a postal carrier and described my situation. The postal carried assured me that they don’t have a list of those designated to have curbside mail delivery. That list stays at the post office. I told her that I still had my old mailbox by my front door. She assured me that it was just fine to use it.
I stood there with my jaw dropped, thinking about what a huge amount of energy I had put on wanting that mailbox off my property, the tons of energy I had expended being angry that I had let the situation occur, even being willing to considering resorting to involve dear Carlos in a clandestine ruse to solve my problem. I stood there astonished that the solution was really so simple.
I guess that a carload of teenagers with a baseball bat, followed by a tornado, was one way to get what I wanted! We don’t know “how” our desires will come to fruition. We just need to keep focused on “what” we want and know that the changes will come. Some seeds take longer to sprout than others. Be patient.
After the great news from the postal carrier, Carlos got the chainsaw and cut the post to the ground. It was a happy day.

"Was it really about me?"

Was it really about me?

There are breakthroughs and there are breakdowns in learning to take charge of our lives.
I had run an ad in a woman's publication some months ago. When I didn't receive response to the ad, I checked with two clients of mine who had ads running in the publication. Both told me that they had not experienced good response from their ads. I assumed that my lack of response was about the publication and had nothing at all to do with me.

Then the magazine editor mentioned to me that people in the helping professions typically did quite well with their ads in the magazine. I pondered why I had not received a similar response. It dawned on me that not even one time in all those months had I affirmed the success of the ad. Not even one time had I "put it out there" that people who needed my help would be drawn to the ad and would connect with me. I was shocked at this realization. I had placed the ad, paid the money, and done nothing else.

I sat in my meditation room with the magazine open to my ad. I affirmed that the ad would be a beacon of light, shining out to those people who needed my help, who would be a joy to work with and who had the money to pay for my coaching services.

Within just hours, my phone began to ring. "I saw your ad in the women's magazine" caller after caller said. I sat there, taking the calls, in amazement that I had forgotten such a simple step.

Are there areas where you are being complacent, allowing life to happen to you or are you taking charge and enjoying YOU happening to life?

I encourage you to take just a few seconds and say out loud what you would like to see show up in your world. Make a list of the areas of your life where you would like to see the energy shift from stuck to flowing. Speak your word once a day, seeing it already happening. Watch your thoughts during the day to be sure you are staying on track with what you have chosen, keeping your thoughts in positive, determined, directed mode. Then watch as life unfolds to fulfill your vision. What a fun process! It really was about me.